And they said it couldn't be done


Ahh... America... land of the rude and home of the obese. My trip was planned. I was to hit Michigan, Ohio, Indiana, Florida, and Michigan again. Many called me a fool. Others were convinced I would lose my tremulous grip on sanity. All were correct. It went by in a blur, so here is a briefing.

Upon entering Detroit's International Airport, I was bombarded with my first cursing rant. Just your average spoiled business man not wanting to wait his turn to change over his yen into dollars like the average plebian. My favorite line from the exchange between us, "I don't want to go upstairs. My car... I mean, my LIMO is waiting down here for me." Sigh. Yes, I know you have money. Most overweight middle-aged men on an international flight from Japan to the US are probably comfortable enough in their finances to take trips such as that. He ended up cussing at the poor woman working the exchange counter and storming off. Classy.

The trip was great, besides my raging culture shock. I can only imagine what it has been like for my comrades who have been home for nearly 9 months now. The meals were huge, and no matter how much J claims that his Big Boy is better, I am still going to be scared if I ever enter one again. I probably gained about 3-4 lbs in a matter of 7 days. That is pretty impressive. We were consuming a lot of beer, however... and some margheritas for good measure.



I arrived in Michigan to guacamole and a monkey. We went to watch a college hockey game in Joe Louis Arena, which made me quite happy! Then headed to Toledo. Toledo was a completely random, yet very fun choice. The art museum had wonky hours, and made for a good wander and lovely arting on a Sunday afternoon. Josh scouted out a little jazz bar near the hotel, while I snuck in a jetlag induced mid-afternoon nap. Then we celebrated St. Patrick's Day in style with Mexican food and jazz. What can I say, we are unconventional... and we had fish & chips with beer the previous evening.




After leaving Toledo behind for the bright lights of Howell, hee hee, I headed out to Indiana at 4:30am. The gods of travel were not with me, as per usual, and I took about an hour detour between Ft. Wayne and Indianapolis in a gas guzzling shiny red Jeep Wrangler. Fun. I did make it, however, and got to hang out with my grandma and my sister!


The red theme was purely coincidental. It was really nice to eat lots of grandma pancakes and catch up being a smartass little sister for a while. I was out of practice...

Next on the list was Florida to see my folks, and to meet up with some friends from college/Boca. I say some, but I really mean Mike who gets props for coming all the way down from Satellite Beach to see me. You are a star, and it was wonderful to see you. Remember to call me long distance when you cross the state border on the way out of Florida! ;) I also saw John at good ol' Mizner Starbucks. Everyone is moving on to bigger and better things and I am happy for you all! The downside of the Boca visit was that Blane and Dr. Courtney both had the day off from FAU, so no professor visiting for me. Sadness.

My parents and the dog were happy to have me home. We celebrated with key lime pie and feet licking (well, Buffy did). I got to teach at my mom's school one afternoon, and the kids asked me a bunch of random questions about Japan. My mom also wanted me to explain why my boys were dressed up in drag in a picture I sent her (from an old school festival pic). I got to explain the Japanese view of homosexuality, etc. to a bunch of special ed. kids. Intriguing.

Back to Michigan for a final evening, and the DIA! Icing on the cake was the Diego Rivera mural, I was led into the room by J and "released" to my geekery. It was amazing, and I have been looking forward to seeing it for YEARS. I was a melty pile of happy art nerd.

Meiers has a lot of cereal. We took this photos to taunt the Baron of Breakfast. Let us see if he retaliates. Thanx for getting my camera from the car, and not minding me embarassing you in your hometown grocery store too much ;).










The next afternoon was my flight out, and after a soggy and difficult goodbye, I sauntered my emo ass around the airport till boarding time. The flight was rather painless, as I was exhausted as all hell. The little girl with the melon head, next to me, did try sleeping on my lap twice. I had to remove her gently both times, to her dismay. Then began the 11 hour marathon vom fest. When she wasn't hurling, she was crinkling the barf bag, or her brother was killing goombas with his DS volume on max. I came milimeters away from committing multiple counts of manslaughter on the plane. Good thing I passed out!

I made it back to Takaoka just in time to hear about the 6.1 earthquake that rocked our neighboring ken, Ishikawa. We felt aftershocks all last week, and one of my Christmas Cacti was not happy to have been knocked over, but little other damage came to my abode.

A farewell to Roo

My nearly 20 year old cat, that has been around since I was the tender age of 6 has left us. After a horribly sad email, I knew her end was nigh. Very sad. In the past few years, she has lost most of her hearing, and a good portion of her eyesight, but was still pretty damn genki. Her recent claim to fame was her love of getting "vacuumed" by Brenndan (my brother-in-law). I suppose without any sound, a vacuum would feel pretty good on you if you were furry, ne? We will miss you Roo.

My favorite Roo story was definitely when my dad shot her in the ass with a bb-gun. Now, before you call animal cruelty, hear me out. I had a pet squirrel when I was younger, and we had released him into the wild when he was old enough to handle himself. He would often come back to the porch to eat peanut butter and other goodies we left out for him. One day, Roo was laying in wait. She was a seasoned hunter, often leaving mouse, squirrel, and bird heads for us at the back door. Such a thoughtful dear. Anyways, Casey (ze squirrel) was heading back for his little forest home with a stomach full of nuts, when Roo attacked. I was screaming, and my dad (who is not the biggest fan of cats, but LOVED the squirrel) heard me saying Casey was gonna get killed by Roo, and he grabbed his bb-gun.

Honestly, it was just to scare her out of the tree/fence where she was perched. It was a bb-gun after all. So, he shot, I screamed more, she fell out of the tree with a "MROoooowWrrR!" Turns out, she was fine, just a little blood. She managed to get a mouthful of Casey's tail, but just fur. Everyone was ok, just a bit worse for wear. As a bonus, she never had the bb removed (we were a little afraid of telling the vet that we shot the cat in the ass), and would love getting her buttscratched after it healed.

Fare thee well in the afterlife, scritchy ass cat.

Hokkaido!

I am leaving tomorrow morning for the snowy white land to the north. Timmy, Francois, Danielle, BC, and I will be descending upon the northern island in approximately 19 hours! Excited about boarding on the powdery goodness that everyone keeps talking about up there. First, however, will be the revelry and pancakes in Inami.

Also, I just spent the afternoon rebooking my transport for my US trip next month. The folks flipped about me driving 18 hours on my own, and upon realizing that, yes, I am admitting it... they were right. I have instead bought a plane ticket from Indiana to Florida, and set up two separate car rentals. Whew. I am finished.

More when I return from the Yuki Matsuri! (snow festival)

Less Artsy, more well... you know

More pictures from Oz on demand. Enjoy. Above, is me looking like a hillbillie. Gotta love wifebeaters!

After Sat-chan's friend's party. Hooched and waiting on the bus.



Tree-huggers.



We headed into New South Wales to go to the beach. It was pretty fabulous. Here is Steveo soaking in the sun.


We walked a bit and generally chilled out. I also got to break in my new diving knife, albeit to cut an avocado for lunch.


Couldn't help myself from taking some footprint and shadow shots, sorry.



At sunset, the shore was amazing. Check out the way the light, sand, and water look in the background of this shot. Oh, and of course, the photo is 100% more saucy with the addition of a wombat.



After the long windy road through the mountains, and a closecall with a certain lady in the backseat, we arrived in the middle of the rainforest!


Where there was the waterfall...


And the ridiculously cold rockpool. Notice me, in the background clutching my towel for warmth.


Along the newly named, Steve Irwin Highway, we stopped to check out the Glass House Mountains.

Hell of a view! The Sauce was telling me the legend of the mountains. Thanks to wikipedia for this synopsis:

In the Aboriginal legend the mountains are members of a family with the father being Mount Tibrogargan and the mother Mount Beerwah. All of the other mountains are sons and daughters with the eldest being Mount Coonowrin.

Tibrogargan, the father, observes that the sea is rising and asks that Conowrin the eldest son help their pregnant mother to safety. Terrified, Coonowrin instead flees. Infuriated by his sons cowardice Tibrogargan pursues him and strikes him so hard that he dislocates Coonowrin's neck.

Once the danger passes Coonowrin feels tremendous guilt for his actions and asks his father, brothers and sisters for forgiveness but all wept with shame. This is said to explain the many small streams that flow through the area. Tibrogargan turned his back on Coonowrin and gazes out to sea refusing to look at his son Coonowrin who continues to hang his head in shame and cry.

We drove to the town of 1770 for a camping and diving adventure on the 28th. Here is the sunset we missed the closing of the campsite for. A great mistake on our part! We ended up driving through 18km of bush, past numerous kangaroo and cows, to a hidden awesome campsite, where I proceded to get us stuck in the sand, we made friends with some dirty hippies from Brisbane, and we spent the night in our lowly tent, listening to forest critters. Good times.


We dove off of Lady Musgrave Island, and this is a shot from the boat. The water was gorgeous. And well worth the vomit-frenzied 2 hour plus 3ft chop boat ride out there! There was a point where we were literally surrounded by our fellow passengers spewing up their toenails. The crew was running around laughing and joking about how the guy behind us needed to be sick more to catch up to some other dude. "Oh man, 1 liter?! You will never beat the record with that little!" Nice... Note: Steveo and I were one of the few of the 150 people aboard who DID NOT vom. Go us!


Here is a pic on the S.S. Vom-a-thon. Note the look of abject terror.


Steveo did his first dive ever! Yeah! I had two dives and saw many sea turtles. The variety of coral was staggering as well. I didn't know what to expect from the Great Barrier Reef, but besides a meager 15-20m visibility, they were great dives. Oh, and I found a spoon. Yup. A Great Barrier Reef spoon. I win so hard! There I be on a boat!


And one final shot of us looking so good in our dive gear.

The Return of Toga


A bunch of the Nanto/Tonami region and I, a lone Takaokan rep braved the slopes of Toga Snow Valley last weekend. Here are the resulting images, provided by the kindness of Danielle! Here are the all us ladies working on our hill-free skills. Damn, we make this shit look easy.



After a successful day of bruising our asses, we went to a local restaurant for a great meal. I consumed two bowls of these adorable guys (hotaruika - firefly squid). Last year, I could barely stomach them, but for some reason, these were really good! The owners said that they were fresh caught that morning. Perhaps they are best straight out of the sea. Plus the vegetables they were served with were really complimentary. ? Maybe I have officially been in Japan for too long?

Laura and Saucypants' big adventure


As you know by now, I spent my winter holiday in the southern hemisphere. Much fun was had, chill time was enjoyed, tea was drank, falafel was eaten, and the great mysteries of the universe were researched. Like, does the water go down the drain the opposite way? Can you eat wombat or wallaby? If so, would you?


I was in heaven when I arrived, coming from frigid-ass centralish Japanese winter to summer was truly magnificent. I wandered around the first few days, and got to visit the art museum several times, because they were hosting the Asia-Pacific Triennial of Contemporary Art! Woo! I saw a few pieces that I have seen randomly in New York (like the following Yayoi Kusama piece, and DC, and a ton of new work from new artists *well new to me.



The museum was definitely rivaling my favorite museum of all time, in Munich. The Pinakothek der Moderne. The architecture for both buildings is fantastic, and the space is utilized extremely well. I don't know if the curators are geniuses, the spaces just lend themselves to great display, or a combination of the two. Anyways, see for yourself.





These shots were carvings in school desks setup in a classroom environment, kinda fun interactive, and making an excellent point about people traveling just to get handfed cheap culture on package tours, as opposed to actually learning about the culture in a deeper and more meaningful way. Or at least, that's what I was interpreting.


















This one was from a series of works depicting scenes from an ancient (possibly Hindu) script which described punishments for sinners. Reminiscent of Dante's Inferno.



Before having holiday fun with the Cleary family and Crazy Rob's family next door (day long backyard cricket match! Complete with overripened mango traps in the yard.), Stevo and I headed to hippieland. Nimbin, was rated #3 in High Times as a vacation getaway. Ranked just below Amsterdam and Jamaica. It was pretty adorable during the day, mostly laid back, with a few sketchy characters wandering to and fro. But whoa does the sketch come out after dark. We decided to rent a hotel room for the night, and experience all Nimbin had to offer. Bunkbeds! Man I love me some bunkbeds! And the paint job of the hotel was pretty inspired. Please enjoy my photographs. I just kinda ran through the halls with my camera and was in aesthetic happyland.


































Can I just say, American opposums got nothing on Australian opposums. This one lived underneath Ben and Satomi's place. It would break into the apt. through the window at night and eat our bread and mangoes. If she didn't eat the mangoes, the wombat did...


We went to a Natural Bridge, and I saw a waterfall that ate its way through a cave ceiling. I also learned that glow-worms are REAL, and not just that toy you hug and it makes you less afraid of the dark.


Then, we headed to a rockpool in the Border Ranges National Park, and I managed to bust my knee, jumping into freezing cold water. Satomi was wise enough not to. So she became the photographer.


I will leave you with this sunset shot. Mmm... seafoam.

Toga

Tomorrow, I go boarding in Toga!

In other awesome news... I just purchased my ticket home for March! I am very excited. Already starting my lists of things I need to bring home from Japan, and vice-versa. I have had a major craving for fig newtons lately. Steveo and I bought some in Australia, when we were road-tripping up north. They weren't the same, though.


Mmmmm... so delicious! Great, now I am hungry.

Yesterday was the last class ever with my favorite homeroom 3-6. I almost cried. It was sad. Doubley so, because I was told last week that we had two classes left together. I arranged a kickass, party lesson thingie for next week, and it was all for naught. Instead, we played games and guitar for the whole period. I told them that no one is supposed to learn on the last day of class. They were more than happy to oblige!

The Sento Mafia

I joined a sports club across from my apartment this past spring, before I got my tattoo. I have begun showering in a little cubicle, so as not to draw undue attention to my ink. You see, when I signed up, I was asked to fill out paperwork asking if I was in fact a "gangster". Deciding that I was not of the gangster persuasion, I filled in "no".

I have heard horror stories of people being asked to leave their gyms or various sento because their tat was showing and it's against the rules. I have been living in fear, walking around in the nude with my hand covering my hip, in some odd limp-wristed, Napoleonic, Bob Dole kinda way.
Earlier this week, I was going through my usual routine of workout, shower, hand-over-hipbone saunter into the outdoor sento, relax. Sento are usually quiet places. If you are with your friends, you can talk at a reasonable level, or just be silent and melt. As previous posts have mentioned, many women tend to evacuate the sento once a gaijin hops in, for unknown reasons. I was under the impression that no one ever talks to strangers in the sento. I have been going for a year and a half, and have never once been addressed by a stranger, besides the occasional "sumimasen" if you bumped them or needed to walk past. Imagine my surprise when I settle in and am immediately addressed.

"Gakusei?" (are you a student?)
Iie, watashi wa kyoushi desu. (No, I am a teacher)
"Sugoi!" (that's great!)
Arigatou (thanx!)

The conversation continues and she proceeds to ask me why I take a shower instead of sitting at the bucket/sinks and bathing out in the open like everyone else. Meh?? I explain, that I have a TATTOO. She starts laughing and tells me that I am free to wander around in my nakie glory without looking like I have a broken wrist anymore! I have Obaachan clearance.

My what!?

Last night, I saw some of my friends that I haven't seen since I left in December. While we were driving home, I was asked to, "Please, be honest..." Ok? "Have you gained weight?" Ummm... not that I know of, why? "Because your bust looks like it is bigger. Maybe it is because you wear a blue shirt." Ummm...? Granted, this girl is a very close friend, so this conversation is kinda on par.

The strange part was this. Fast forward to the last class I just taught, my san-nensei home economics based class. "Rora-sensei, etooo... bigger... NICE!" I was convinced they meant they liked my shirt, until we clarified moments later. WTF Japan? Leave the ladies be.

Its amazing how every part of your body, from head to foot is up for discussion here. I do understand the cultural homogenity and whatnot, but they KNOW I am not Nihonjin. They know I am kinda weird, so why is it still suprising? When you dye your hair, it's as if you are standing on a soapbox and screaming for attention. Piercings are a great way to freak kids out, and/or have your high school boys think you are a magical badass. Those are rather bold statements in Japan, I know. But, seriously, NOTHING gets past these kids. They notice what socks I wear everyday, if I happen to have put on a bit of eyeliner, or if my sweater is a little baggier than the usual style I wear. Although they don't mention it, I am almost positive that they know when I trim my fingernails.

They even notice things that I haven't noticed myself. I could probably throw away all the mirrors and reflective surfaces in my home, and just walk through the hallway when I arrive to work in the morning! "Rora, you have a blemish." "Rora, your collar is tucked in." "Rora, your underwear is showing..."

Enough of that. In other news: I have been back from Australia for about a week now, and big thanx to Stevo, Satomi, and Ben for helping show me around, put me up, and show me kangaroos. Much love to you all!